January 2012
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There was this guy at the coffeeshop today (HEY STOP YAWNING AND SCROLLING COME ON) and he had his text tone set to what sounded like a recording of his own voice that said “Hey you got a text message!” I can guarantee that this is not cute. But after I was done rolling my eyes I started getting really sad thinking about how maybe (probably) he doesn’t get very many text...
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By the way the Skull Fuck Your Thirst coozie is from a band called Andrew Jackson Jihad. I have never listened to them but damn do they make a nice coozie. Hey, it’s impossibly to pirate a coozie, right? Support independent coozie artists! I don’t know what I’m talking about.
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You Know, from Transylvania
Me: OH MY GOD JUST SAW TIM CURRY
He: TIM CURRY? OMGISHECROSSINGTHESTREETHESSUCHAGENIUS
Me: More like cross dressing the street but no actually he was on the sidewalk.
Anonymous asked: what category were you seeking, in wikiporno?
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Adventures in Babysitting →
Directed by Paul Thomas
Porn is really weird. Does this guy think some executive is gonna mess up and hire him on accident with that name? Seriously?
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I guess I'm doing this...
attheriskofembarrassingmyself:
I had this idea while I was walking my dog. In fact, that’s where I get most of my ideas whether they are good or bad, so it’s a wonder I don’t spend basically all my time at one end of a leash. I know it’s about 6 days late for a resolution but I’m nothing if not a consummate procrastinator. Also I was stuck in the Bay area until yesterday so I have a (flimsy)...
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Anonymous asked: I think corgis are beautiful.
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Anonymous asked: I think you are beautiful.
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December 2011
32 posts
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Rushfield Babylon: The Takeaways of 2011 →
richardrushfield:
But when I sit down to reason, think to take my stand nor swerve, While I triumph o’er a secret wrung from nature’s close reserve, In you come with your cold music till I creep thro’ every nerve.
- Robert Browning
In 2010 it seemed like things couldn’t get any worse, that we’d reached the…
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“The OG yearning was best expressed by an anxious woman in a big white car who...”
– Are any of you from Sioux CIty and if so can you tell me if this is a joke because I kind of feel like crying??
Olive Garden arrives
Deck those Walls
dearoldlove:
Will you be decorating the walls you built around yourself for Christmas? Maybe some icicle lights would make them look less gloomy.
SICK BURN
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OH SHIT the whole reason I wrote that earlier post was to say that before sundown I SAW DONALD GLOVER. CROSSING THE STREET. IN AN ORANGE SHIRT. TALKING ON THE PHONE.
So anyway. Now you know.
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Everyone on tumblr be gettin’ drunk right now! Friday!
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Things I Did Today Before Sundown
Walked the dog
Did 339 crunches of various types (AKA Ab Ripper X what don’t hate)
Drank 66 oz. of Shock Top for the low low price of $15
Ate 1/2 order of chicken nachos
Caught up with Caroline
Got tweeted at by Jonathan Lipnicki
Didn’t get shot
Saw Young Adult even if half of it was with my hands over my eyes to hide myself from the awkwardness
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“And as much as I would kill him if he cheated because it would destroy me, I...”
– Katherine Heigl needs to have her mouth glued shut
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thefeeling replied to your photo: I know you guys were worried so I wanted to be…
Was the puppy the perp?
Luckily the puppy was neither the perp nor the victim. But it did belong to Kevin Arnold who was a craaaazy rapist!!!
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A Thing I Thought While I Was Waking Up
If there were ever like an alien that came to earth and was like “Oh I’m going to destroy your planet unless you can show me how beautiful and amazing it is” I probably wouldn’t take it to like the Pyramids or the Alps or anything I would probably just try to figure out how you give this alien a blow job because then at least it wouldn’t kill me.
November 2011
28 posts
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